THE PHIL HENDRIE SCHOOL OF COMEDY
Our present-day priests of comedy and especially the producers and lazy students can scarcely contain themselves until the end of the Phil Hendrie Show. They rush away from the show, some to chat rooms, others hither and thither to seek entertainment in a manner unworthy of comedy students -- some even to sleep... Thus those who ought to be first in the imitation of Phil are the greatest foes of Phil, our High Priest of Comedy, (parodied from John Hus).
1. Pick out a news story, make a note about how it connects to the audience.
2. Then you have to make it funny.
3. The perfect show is funny and gets great calls.
4. Once you have your story, you need a character, typically an expert in the area. Your expert must generate interest sufficient to get people to call either to support or to disagree with your expert. An expert can be a professor or a politician but you can also use people to discuss their experience with the topic, for example a housewife or a worker in the field (bar tender).
5. Screen out callers who want to talk about something besides the subject.
6. Never make fun of a sympathetic character. You have to understand your position. You can't waffle. Be consistent in who you are supporting and who you are tearing down.
7. Know your characters. Keep track of when you use which character to avoid overusing a character.
8. The news story you are using must have been broadcast enough times for your listeners to have formed an opinion. You don't want to waste precious time bringing your audience up to date on the story. You need your time for the comedy bit. A follow-up story is good because your listeners are already familiar with the story.
Characters:
Priest
Housewife
Subjects:
Catholic Church
Holocaust
Evolution
Racism
News Stories
Deadly Chaos on Libya
What Makes it Funny. Monkeys uprising due to overpopulation. Everybody clueless.
Married Lutheran priest and wife become Catholic and are allowed to stay married.
What Makes it Funny: Church is crazy. No birth control. Burning heretics, shooting abortionists. Make fun of the Catholic Church. Make fun of Islam (death penalty for heretics).
Issue: May end abstinence requrement for priests. Good because abstinence causes molestation. Bad because Jesus and Paul were abstinent.
Issue:
OPERATION GALILEO
Galileo Galilei was born February 15, 1564, known as the "father of science" because he taught that the Bible was incorrect when it said that the earth was the center of the universe. Galileo taught that the sun was the center of the solar system and that the earth orbits around the sun. His most important contribution to mankind is that he survived the idiotic heresey laws of the Dark Ages. By groveling on his belly to the pope and begging forgiveness, Galilei escaped being burned at the stake. He is a wonderful role model for future heretics because he showed how to get new information to the world by balancing Truth against Obsequiousness.
First was the Truth, then came knowledge of the Truth and finally came communication to others of the knowledge of the Truth.
The purpose of the Phil Hendrie School of Comedy is to reveal to all the world the creative process of Phil Hendrie so that future generations of comedians can use the time tested method of comedy to disseminate the Truth necessary for this generation's survival. This portion of the Phil Hendrie School of Comedy is known as "Operation Galileo."
The creative process starts as an idea, like a human being starts as a zygote. If you have taken care of your brain, your idea will take hold just like a fertilized egg attaches itself to a healthy womb. You don't need to do anything to it, you almost don't know it's there. Go about your daily tasks, exercise your body, enjoy your life. Your only job at this point is to assure that you brain is a healthy, fertile place for the zygote to start the separation process, one cell into two and so forth. At this point you hardly know it is there except for a tiny point of heat that you may feel somewhere in your brain. Other than that, you will not know that the idea is growing until later.
My idea is to introduce Phil to Couch and hope that the two of them can support each other in their quest to use the internet to disseminate their ideas through comedy. Phil Hendrie has 40 years of experience being the best known comedian on radio. Couch has ten years of radio as "The Couch Potato" and ten years on the internet as "Spew Boy." Couch has technical skills which Phil can benefit by. How can I get these two people together?
040511
A really mean Mexicana told me she was the manager of the post office and used her authority to refuse to let me in at 6:00 p.m. and to refuse to let me have mail until I tied up my dog. It turned out she was lying about her authority. Last weekthe real manager told her to her fetch my packages and she looked very unhappy to see that I was witness to this proof of her lies about being the manager.
02/27/11
Grandpa died last week
And now he's buried in the rocks,
But everybody
still talks about
How badly they were shocked.
But me, I expected it to happen,
I
knew he'd lost control
When he built a fire on Main Street
And shot it full of
holes.
- "Memphis Blues" by Bob Dylan
02/18/11 Alex questions Sheen about Sheen’s questions to Obama.
Sheen reveals his megalomania by describing his fantasy that the government is “running after the president with a tape recording of this newscast”.
Sheen talks contemptuously of his fans, (fools and trolls) especially the female fans he slept with “These turds, these little humuncular losers…”
Sheen provokes Hyme Lavine, his employer.
Sheen reads a note from one of his girlfriends which is embarrassing, adoring.
Alex tells Sheen he is Baccus and Sheen eats it up like honey. “I’m terribly flattered, keep going, keep talking to me like this.”
Sheen talks about the “horrible cult of AA” and “Look your father In the eye and say, ‘You’re wrong. I’m different. I’m better. Watch me. Watch me bury you’.”
"F.A.I.R. is going to hold an event with many radio ppl broadcasting about immigration reform from 5am - 11pm" (paraphrased)
"We got invited by F.A.I.R, and then we start figuring out HOW its going to go, live, tape, with Jase or not, but then we got uninvited"
"reason we were uninvited is we run the wrong kind of radio show, we do parody, his parody and satire can be misunderstood" (paraphrase)
(Phil says that would have been a good thing, cause mediamatters would have gotten popped again for reporting wrong stuff) (my take on it)
"We love you phil BUT....."
"Their agenda is to be right of center, and some of the radio ppl there are only window dressing" (paraphrased)
"I do a radio show that you admit is a great and terrific radio show, but cause it's not stale like others I don't get to be there" (para)
IDEA. Obama care means onsite doctors mandated at work place.
Problem. People will come to work to get diagnosed so they can go home.
Bringing kids to the teacher's protest.
Unfair to exploit kids who haven't enough maturity to develop their political opinions.
Phil doesn't want to talk about characters, he can do that. He just wants ideas. (whatever that means).